Healthcare communication is one of the most important things you can learn about before your delivery.
Today’s guest is Samantha Ghabra. Samantha has been a registered nurse since 2017. Her passion for labor, birth, and women’s health has lead her on a path towards becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife/Woman’s Health Nurse Practitioner. She is currently a student at California State University, Fullerton in their CNM/WHNP program. Samantha’s favorite aspect of nursing is patient education. She loves showing patients the incredible amazing capabilities of their bodies and how to be their own best advocate by empowering patients to make informed decisions. She is a firm believer of Health At Every Size, as well as supporting BIPOC women, and other birthing people. Outside of the world of labor and delivery, Samantha is a cat mom to two fur babies, Watson & Frankie, and she loves to read, cook, and travel.
Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — it has a whole bonus video on communicating with your healthcare team which I think you will really enjoy!
In this episode
Be specific about what you need (even in communication)
Things you can do to get more time to make a decision
Other things that might interest you
Disadvantages of doulas (and advantages)
Making your partner part of the birth TEAM
Delivery room rules
Producer: Drew Erickson
Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:
[00:00:00.130] – Hilary Erickson
Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on episode 167, we are talking about the most important part of labor. No, it’s not having the baby come out. It’s healthcare communication. So important. Let’s untangle it.
[00:00:23.010] – Hilary Erickson
Hi. I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: pregnancy and parenting untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.
[00:00:44.890] – Hilary Erickson
Just communicating to you that our podcast grows when you guys subscribe and review the podcast, especially on Apple podcasts, you apple users. So we love it when you guys do that.
[00:00:54.220] – Hilary Erickson
Super excited for today’s guest. She is a registered nurse in labor and delivery, but she’s actually in school to become a certified nurse midwife and a women’s health nurse practitioner. So she is in school to deliver the babies. I want to introduce today’s guest, Samantha Ghabra.
[00:01:12.590] – Hilary Erickson
Do you feel prepared for your delivery? In just three short hours, you can be prepared for the confident, collaborative delivery you want. You’ll know what to expect and how to talk with your healthcare team. And there are no boring lessons in this class. I’ll use humor, stories from my 20 years in the delivery room to engage both of you. I love how Alyssa told me that she found herself laughing at things that used to sound scary. Most of all, you guys are going to be on the same page from bump to bassinet. Join the online prenatal class for couples today. You can save 15% with coupon code UNTANGLED. You can find the link in the show notes.
[00:01:47.490] – Hilary Erickson
Hey, Samantha. Welcome to the Pulling Curls podcast.
[00:01:50.210] – Samantha Ghabra
Thank you so much for having me.
[00:01:51.700] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, Samantha is in midwifery school. She’s going the whole nine yards.
[00:01:55.770] – Samantha Ghabra
Yes, I am.
[00:01:56.620] – Hilary Erickson
Have you always wanted to be a midwife?
[00:01:58.190] – Samantha Ghabra
I have. My mom is a retired midwife nurse practitioner. So you can imagine the dinner table conversation growing up as a kid, and yeah, that was my inspiration.
[00:02:07.370] – Hilary Erickson
My boys wouldn’t want to imagine that. They had just plenty with the labor and delivery nurse mom.
[00:02:12.480] – Samantha Ghabra
I’m sure they did.
[00:02:16.510] – Hilary Erickson
So exciting. Okay, so today we are talking about healthcare communication. How long have you been a labor nurse?
[00:02:21.510] – Samantha Ghabra
I’ve been a labor nurse for about two and a half years and a nurse total for five years.
[00:02:26.200] – Hilary Erickson
What did you do before labor?
[00:02:27.510] – Samantha Ghabra
I did corrections. I worked in a jail.
[00:02:29.910] – Hilary Erickson
No communication there.
[00:02:31.580] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:02:33.070] – Hilary Erickson
That is a leap. Although I did hospice and everyone’s like, oh, that’s so different. I was like, actually, they’re very similar.
[00:02:39.110] – Samantha Ghabra
Right. I mean, you get used to talking to people and kind of interacting with all walks of life. So it’s a very interesting experience.
[00:02:45.650] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. Both places for me, it was, when is this going to happen? When are they going to die? When is the baby going to be born? Wanted a crystal ball. It’s fine.
[00:02:54.340] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, so I have three tips for better communication. Hopefully Samantha has some and we’re just going to chitty chat about them. Because, guys, just like in marriage, just like in the workplace, communication is key. And I think a lot of times everyone thinks, well, my healthcare team should be communicating all these things to me. But the problem is some people want a lot of communication and some people absolutely do not. And we don’t know which you are.
[00:03:16.430] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:03:18.190] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. Sometimes, especially, like with the IV, a lot of people I’m like, do you want me to talk you through this or do you want to be completely blind? And I would say 50 50 are like, I don’t want to hear one word about what is going on over there. And the other one is like, just let me know before you poke, or whatever. Everybody’s different.
[00:03:33.290] – Samantha Ghabra
Everyone is different. And I feel like I tend to move on the side of too much information because I love educating patients. But yeah, not everyone wants that level of detail.
[00:03:42.040] – Hilary Erickson
[00:03:42.500] – Hilary Erickson
And so that’s my first tip, is that everyone is different. We are seeing such a huge variety of people, especially in the hospital, different cultures, different nationalities, different ages. Everybody is so different. Because you think whatever you want is very normal, right?
[00:03:56.800] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:03:57.210] – Hilary Erickson
Because I see a lot of people on TikTok who are like, well, of course they would talk me through the entire exam, but I got to tell you, there’s a lot of girls who want to know absolutely nothing before, just get it done.
[00:04:06.660] – Samantha Ghabra
And move on.
[00:04:08.860] – Hilary Erickson
And so I’m like, well, but we don’t know that if you don’t tell it. So I tend to go, like, middle of the road until you’re like, just get it done.
[00:04:16.180] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:04:16.820] – Hilary Erickson
[00:04:17.300] – Samantha Ghabra
I know I should be better about saying, hey, do you want to know all the information? Or you like, I don’t care, just do your job. I really should get better about asking about that because I probably give too much information, but I like people to know what they’re getting into.
[00:04:29.800] – Hilary Erickson
[00:04:30.210] – Hilary Erickson
And I’m hopeful that they would tell me if they’re like, shut up, Hilary.
[00:04:33.970] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:04:36.490] – Hilary Erickson
So tell us everything. Like, I don’t know that I’ve ever had a patient who over communicated at least their needs or what they wanted from me. I have had some who over communicated in general, probably.
[00:04:46.230] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:04:47.350] – Samantha Ghabra
Most of the time I see the bigger communication coming in from the birth plan has all their wants. And I like to say instead of birth plans, we should have birth preferences because things can change on a dime. And being open to that change, I think, makes for a much better birth experience. But, yeah, I don’t think most people come in and say, this is how I like to communicate, which would be helpful. Right.
[00:05:08.680] – Hilary Erickson
And that’s never on the birth plan. No, they never stay on there I want to hear when you opened the Ky jelly. I want to know everything about that exam.
[00:05:16.840] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:05:17.730] – Hilary Erickson
[00:05:18.110] – Hilary Erickson
So that’s a good one. I think a lot of times people hand us the birth plan expecting, like, this is going to communicate for me, and it doesn’t, because I don’t even know when you made this birth plan. I don’t know if you were just on the bump at six months pregnant, printed it out, and then handed it to me when you went to have the baby. I don’t know if you’ve researched any of this. A lot of times I’ll look at it and be like, okay, so no vitamin K. Is there a reason? Do you want to talk about that at all? And they’re like, oh, I just heard it was super bad.
[00:05:42.900] – Samantha Ghabra
Exactly. There’s so much misinformation on social media and stuff, and I really like to like, if someone’s refusing stuff, I’m very much like, okay, you say you don’t want an IV. Let’s sit down and talk about it. What are your fears? Where are you coming from? Oh, I don’t like needles. Okay, well, there’s no needle still in the arm. And this is why I think, and why I like to have IV access and then just make it conversation versus, like, you’re refusing. Okay? Hands off. I’m done. Right.
[00:06:07.280] – Hilary Erickson
I think a lot of people then think we are pressuring them into it, but in reality, it is so much our obligation to tell you the risk, I guess, and the benefits. Although I guess if you made the choice that you don’t want an IV, you’re obvious to the benefits of that. You don’t poked and Iv spot in your arm.
[00:06:22.370] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:06:22.760] – Hilary Erickson
But it’s important for us to tell you what those risks are. That’s what you’re paying us for. We’re not your friend.
[00:06:29.030] – Samantha Ghabra
Correct. And everyone should be able every provider should be able to come into a room, whether it’s the nurse or doctor, whoever, and say, this is what we would like to do. This is why we want to do it. And if you don’t do it, these are some alternatives for you. And if they’re not telling you those things, ask them like, hey, what are the benefits of this? What happens if I don’t do anything? And then the doctor should be able to say, okay, well, if you don’t do anything, this might happen. And then you’re aware.
[00:06:54.460] – Hilary Erickson
[00:06:55.010] – Hilary Erickson
And you can ask that on absolutely anything. I had a nurse on here. We should give form consent for the blood pressure. And I was like, okay, I don’t that’s a little much for me, especially every 15 minutes. I am now going to take your blood pressure. It is important because this is why.
[00:07:11.600] – Samantha Ghabra
I think we should do this. What do you think?
[00:07:13.560] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, no, I don’t go that far.
[00:07:15.910] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:07:16.920] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, I mean, there are going to be times, especially if we’re super busy, that our communication may be tailored just to what you’re asking for.
[00:07:24.180] – Samantha Ghabra
Right. Correct. And I feel like coming from the medical side, we know everything. We know we see labor multiple times a day. Right. And for the patient, this is their one baby that they’re having. And we often don’t think that they don’t know everything like we know everything, so we kind of gloss over things. And I think it’s important from a provider’s perspective to remember that the patient doesn’t know everything. They don’t know what we’re thinking. They don’t know all the outcomes that could happen or the plan of care. That is pretty much standard for most people. So it seems like we’re doing a lot of crazy things, even though to us, it seems totally normal, right?
[00:07:58.860] – Hilary Erickson
[00:07:59.200] – Hilary Erickson
And so it’s up to you to be like, hey, what’s up with this? Or, I would love to know anything about what you’re doing. Turn it that way. I’m one of those people that just loves information.
[00:08:09.890] – Hilary Erickson
[00:08:10.640] – Hilary Erickson
Or I’m the one who wants to know absolutely nothing.
[00:08:13.140] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:08:13.580] – Hilary Erickson
I want to come out of this not even having a clue what went on.
[00:08:16.590] – Samantha Ghabra
Yeah. And if some stuff goes down and it’s a bit crazy and no one explained it anything to you? As a nurse, I would say I would be looking at my patient and be like, they seem like they might need to go over things. And I’d go up to the doctor and say, hey, Doc, patient really seems like they might need a debrief about what happened. Can you go talk to them? Because sometimes you just need someone to throw your thoughts at and tell you what happened and that it was not your fault.
[00:08:43.210] – Hilary Erickson
[00:08:43.730] – Hilary Erickson
[00:08:44.180] – Hilary Erickson
And I think so much birth trauma can be alleviated by and I started doing this a lot more postpartum after they’re cleaned up and they’ve had a moment to breathe. Hey, how was birth? Do you have any questions? Because I’m your labor nurse or your labor nurse is still here, and now is the time to get those questions answered, because even your doctor, six weeks later, unless it was like, crazy Town is not going to no, they’re not there.
[00:09:06.290] – Samantha Ghabra
I don’t know.
[00:09:06.920] – Hilary Erickson
I don’t know why you got a PC out of me. I don’t know.
[00:09:09.590] – Samantha Ghabra
Yeah, that’s super important. Or, like, if you have to resuscitate a baby or something. So I had a shoulder to Socia once, and the dad then was at the warmer, and I was kind of going over, okay, dad, this is what happened. This is what we had to do. And I told the patient we were really pressing on your stomach, and I’m sorry, but we were trying to get the shoulder unstuck. So just kind of go over things and make sure that it makes sense to them.
[00:09:32.280] – Hilary Erickson
[00:09:32.670] – Hilary Erickson
And so if you have any lingering questions, don’t hesitate.
[00:09:35.490] – Samantha Ghabra
No, please don’t.
[00:09:36.330] – Hilary Erickson
Don’t hesitate, because then you’re going to go home in your low post part of mind, which I’ve had, and then you’re going to ruminate over these things and be like, what did I do wrong? Should I have gotten induced? What could I have done? Did I not push good enough?
[00:09:48.130] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:09:48.680] – Hilary Erickson
And most often, it’s just like it’s.
[00:09:51.620] – Samantha Ghabra
Just how it happens. And I always tell parents there’s no stupid questions, like, ask them, because if we don’t know what your knowledge base is, I can’t teach you what you need to know, and I don’t know where you’re coming from. So ask all the questions. I don’t care if you ask me 100 questions or two questions. Just ask them.
[00:10:07.950] – Hilary Erickson
[00:10:08.550] – Hilary Erickson
And I think people don’t know that nurses love to answer questions. Like, it’s my favorite because we have my favorite stupid menial tasks. Like, so many boxes we have to click and they’re the same on every patient, right?
[00:10:20.080] – Hilary Erickson
[00:10:21.190] – Samantha Ghabra
Correct. So many boxes.
[00:10:23.730] – Hilary Erickson
Do you have a history of liver cancer? No.
[00:10:26.260] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:10:27.110] – Hilary Erickson
[00:10:28.990] – Samantha Ghabra
That’s all the questions.
[00:10:30.120] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah. Almost 80% of the time I can answer questions while I am doing other tasks, so ask away. We love it.
[00:10:38.770] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:10:39.170] – Hilary Erickson
My second tip, although we are giving so many good tips during this, is to be kind. I see a lot of people on TikTok, especially, just like, no, you’re just going to walk in that room and say, no, I don’t want an IV. Right?
[00:10:48.690] – Hilary Erickson
[00:10:49.220] – Samantha Ghabra
It’s like we’re all on the same team. I was just talking with a couple of my new coworkers because we’re at a birth center and we have some midwife patients, and sometimes I’m not stereotyping, but sometimes there is a stereotype of patients of midwives who want all the crunchy things, and I’m all about it. I call myself Scrunchie. I want to do the sciencey, but also the crunchy. I love it. And sometimes with Douglas and stuff, they’re amazing, and they are wonderful for labor coping, and I love them. But we’re all on the same team. I think sometimes we get defensive and we have to remember that we’re on the patient side, all of us. The doula, the doctor, the nurse, the patient. We’re all together instead of making it about like a fight of who is right.
[00:11:30.060] – Hilary Erickson
[00:11:30.300] – Hilary Erickson
This is not a fight.
[00:11:31.310] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:11:32.090] – Hilary Erickson
We will have a fight at the nurse’s station. But that’s among the nurses.
[00:11:35.090] – Samantha Ghabra
True. Very true.
[00:11:36.970] – Hilary Erickson
[00:11:38.010] – Hilary Erickson
[00:11:38.430] – Hilary Erickson
I mean, it just comes from a place that the kinder you can be. It’s not a super lucrative job. These people are doing a lot for you. They likely are holding their bladder. They may not have eaten. It is not a cushy job.
[00:11:50.920] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:11:52.270] – Hilary Erickson
So being kind to them, being respectful with your communication, just like anywhere else, is so important.
[00:11:58.330] – Samantha Ghabra
Yes, I agree. You catch what is it, more flies with honey than vinegar or something like that?
[00:12:03.060] – Hilary Erickson
Yes, 100%. Because you don’t want to make them angry, right?
[00:12:07.000] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:12:09.550] – Hilary Erickson
Would you treat your waitress like that? Maybe they would. I don’t know. Maybe not.
[00:12:13.260] – Samantha Ghabra
But it’s like you treat someone poorly and I’ve been on the receiving end of not so nice patients and not so nice patients family, and it puts not a great taste in your mouth. So being kind to everyone involved is important. And same goes from the nursing side.
[00:12:28.620] – Hilary Erickson
[00:12:29.140] – Samantha Ghabra
I was telling my coworkers, sometimes the patients can kind of feel that energy that you’re putting out. If you go and thinking that, oh, they’re going to be like this difficult patient and people can sense that kind of energy, I feel like, yes, I agree.
[00:12:42.800] – Hilary Erickson
And you might not want to see us, but if you’re going in the room and you’re, like ripping my head off every time, every time I go in that room, I’m just like, I do not want to be here.
[00:12:52.150] – Samantha Ghabra
Okay, I’ll get you whatever you want. Please stop using Polly.
[00:12:55.640] – Hilary Erickson
[00:12:56.010] – Hilary Erickson
Let’s just be nice to each other. I love the idea that we’re not in a fight here. I agree. We’re here to communicate. You don’t need to be rude. I know a lot of people are like, well, they’re just going to push me into something I don’t want. And I have seen that happen usually by doctors, but rarely is the nurse going to push you into something you don’t want.
[00:13:12.400] – Samantha Ghabra
Correct? Very rarely. And I had a patient once who was like, well, the birthing educator told me that I don’t have to get an Epidural, but that we’ll just come in the nurses and do whatever we want. And it’s like, first of all, I really don’t care what you want to do, as in terms of your care, like, that’s your choice. But it doesn’t have to be what I want. It’s about what you want and I’m going to help you have that. But be nice. You know how it is.
[00:13:36.240] – Hilary Erickson
[00:13:36.840] – Hilary Erickson
Nurses need to be nice, too. I’m not saying nurses are out of this game.
[00:13:39.840] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:13:40.280] – Hilary Erickson
All right. So the other thing that I think about communication is you can almost always ask for more time. So this is more when your doctor because if we’re like, okay, it’s time to start the AV. Yes, you have more time. But a lot of times the doctors will be like, well, I think we should have a C section. And I’m going to say I have seen them kind of like put the pressure on. Like, we’re almost at the used car lot where they’re selling we’re going to sell this car.
[00:14:00.380] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:14:00.750] – Hilary Erickson
You can always say, we would like to think about it, or you can say, do we have time to discuss it?
[00:14:05.820] – Samantha Ghabra
Right? Yes. Is there time to have a moment to talk with my partner, talk with my support person, whoever’s with you 100%.
[00:14:11.880] – Hilary Erickson
[00:14:12.270] – Hilary Erickson
Because even that two to three minutes and then you can just put your call out on when you’re done, it’s going to give you when you go home, you’re going to have been like, okay, we thought through that decision. We didn’t get pressured into it. We had some input in this decision.
[00:14:23.990] – Samantha Ghabra
Right. We had some control over it and just say, do we have a moment to discuss? And there are very few times when there isn’t that moment. But those are not everyday occurrences.
[00:14:34.610] – Hilary Erickson
[00:14:35.070] – Samantha Ghabra
So most of the time there is plenty of time or at least a little bit of time, a couple of minutes if you need it, to discuss things and at least feel like you had some control and some input in your care, which I think is what lowers birth trauma for a lot of people.
[00:14:47.120] – Hilary Erickson
I totally agree. One of my friends gave me a good tip that if you feel like the doctor’s kind of pressuring you, you can be like, I need to go to the restroom. Can you help me get in there? Hilary, right?
[00:14:56.130] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:14:56.690] – Hilary Erickson
Your doctor’s not going to come in that restroom with you, but the nurse will.
[00:14:59.180] – Samantha Ghabra
No, they are not.
[00:15:00.280] – Hilary Erickson
So at that point, you can even ask the nurse, what do you think?
[00:15:04.070] – Hilary Erickson
[00:15:04.520] – Samantha Ghabra
Although technically we’re not supposed to. But if I was you, if this was the situation that I were in, this is kind of what I would do.
[00:15:13.500] – Hilary Erickson
[00:15:13.840] – Hilary Erickson
And she’s a nurses kind of go psychologist on you. What are you feeling?
[00:15:17.650] – Hilary Erickson
[00:15:17.980] – Samantha Ghabra
What do you think about that?
[00:15:19.040] – Hilary Erickson
Because we already have our own opinion where we think, correct, you could wait, we could see what’s going to go on. We can kind of steer you through that psychological. Well, it sounds like you’re a little bit anxious about that. Do you want to listen to that voice or do you feel like it would be better to go back to the or.
[00:15:33.500] – Samantha Ghabra
Right. And always I tell my patients, you can say no to things. You can change your mind. If you said yes and now you change your mind, I think that goes hand in hand with asking for time is like being able to say, you know what? I changed my mind. I’d rather not do that. Or at least saying, stop. Can I have them in it?
[00:15:51.510] – Hilary Erickson
[00:15:51.820] – Hilary Erickson
And I’ve had patients before they came in and they’re like, I’m not going to get the hep B or the vitamin K. I’m like, Cool, we signed consents. And then 2 hours in, they’re like, do you hate me? But I think I do want to get those shots. I’m so sorry, I’m changing my mind. I’m like, I don’t care.
[00:16:04.940] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:16:05.310] – Hilary Erickson
We go through paper at this hospital like it’s candy. So I’ll go get the new consent. It’s fine. We are totally fine with you asking questions, changing your mind, all that. We get it.
[00:16:15.740] – Hilary Erickson
[00:16:16.060] – Hilary Erickson
What I don’t want is for you to go home and then wish you had gotten the vitamin k. Yeah, I.
[00:16:20.420] – Samantha Ghabra
Should have done this.
[00:16:21.270] – Hilary Erickson
[00:16:21.630] – Samantha Ghabra
Just say, we’re very open, we’re very easy, we’re very flexible, like, totally fine.
[00:16:26.660] – Hilary Erickson
[00:16:26.930] – Hilary Erickson
Do you have any other good tips?
[00:16:28.240] – Samantha Ghabra
I think just being able to speak up for yourself or having an advocate, I think that’s the power of Julia’s. And also, like, really supportive partners or your mom or mother in law or sister, whoever it is. I know if Covet is, like, less people in the room, but just letting us know because we are not mind readers. Right. And if we don’t know what you want or where you’re coming from, we can’t help you to the best of our ability.
[00:16:50.140] – Hilary Erickson
[00:16:50.550] – Hilary Erickson
And the hard thing is that especially if you’re going natural or whatever, or you’re just tired, you may not have all the skills you would have had, like, on a normal day.
[00:16:58.920] – Samantha Ghabra
Right. Yes. I hate sometimes asking questions to my laboring patients because I know that they can’t really answer. They’re like, I’m like, what’s more comfortable to you? I don’t know. And it’s like, I get it because one, you’re uncomfortable anyways, and two, it’s like really hard to make decisions in that mind frame. So having someone who knows what you want and is there to support you and advocate for you is really important.
[00:17:20.130] – Hilary Erickson
[00:17:20.600] – Hilary Erickson
In fact, my bonus tip is to even, maybe even run through scenarios with your partner. I do this in my online prenatal class. We have a communication with your doctor and I run through scenarios just with a friend about what a doctor could say and the words you could use to get that extra time or get informed consent so that they don’t feel as weird and awkward. Because if you were like at Gap and you were like, well, I would like the informed consent on this sweatshirt, that would be awkward.
[00:17:46.820] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:17:47.090] – Hilary Erickson
But in the hospital, you’re just like, sure, let me go over the risk of benefits and the alternative.
[00:17:50.930] – Hilary Erickson
[00:17:51.380] – Samantha Ghabra
Because a lot of times it will be like, doctor, come in. Well, I’d like to break your water. And the patient’s just kind of okay. Because they don’t know. Right. And you can always say, okay, what is this going to do for me in terms of my labor? Just ask the question.
[00:18:04.910] – Hilary Erickson
That’s a great question, to be able.
[00:18:05.940] – Samantha Ghabra
To explain it to you or why. Yes, why?
[00:18:09.950] – Hilary Erickson
And I’ll tell you, you know why. Because that’s when they’re at the hospital.
[00:18:13.570] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:18:14.940] – Hilary Erickson
[00:18:17.410] – Samantha Ghabra
They get back to in the office and they have stuff to do. And a lot of times it is based around their schedule and most of the time it’s fine, the interventions that we do, but sometimes they’re not the most appropriate. And sometimes your nurse will be like, hey, this doctor who’s going to come in in the morning likes to do this, and you don’t have to go along with that, or you can ask questions about it if you want. I’m just letting you know that that’s what the doctor likes to do.
[00:18:40.250] – Hilary Erickson
That’s what good nurses do. I’d always be like, yeah, at 09:00, A.m., he comes and breaks everybody’s water. So if you’re cool with that, I’m going to just put an amni hook here. If you’re not cool with that, I’m going to leave the amni hook outside the room so we can ask some more questions.
[00:18:51.980] – Samantha Ghabra
Correct. Are you okay with that? Your nurse should be definitely prompting, setting subtle hints to the provider that maybe they should pause for a moment and ask more questions.
[00:19:02.550] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:03.030] – Hilary Erickson
It’s tricky. It is. Just because healthcare communication is different than anywhere else. It is. We have anesthesiologist who would end every informed consent, or you could die. And of course, then we had patients that were, like, backing out of the epidural, and I would be right. So I would prep them in advance. I was like, if you turn on your car, you turn on your oven. Maybe if you even turn on your sewing machine and it gave you an informed consent, it would end in and you could die.
[00:19:27.930] – Samantha Ghabra
And you could die. Because that is the risk of literally everything.
[00:19:32.810] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:33.600] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:34.930] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:35.430] – Samantha Ghabra
Legally, they have to tell you. And it sounds like so much of the risk sounds so scary, but the risk is so low, and there’s risk in everything. If you drink enough water, it’s going to kill you.
[00:19:46.900] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:47.360] – Samantha Ghabra
But no one’s like, don’t drink water, it’s going to kill you.
[00:19:50.280] – Hilary Erickson
[00:19:50.670] – Hilary Erickson
And you can always say you went through a lot of risks, or how frequent does any of that happen? Because sometimes they just have, like, a pattern. You could have an infection, you could have a backache, and they just go through it real quick because they’re just used to saying it, and honestly, most people don’t care.
[00:20:05.000] – Samantha Ghabra
Yeah. I had a great doctor yesterday. A patient had been she was laboring. She got to complete she was pushing and pushing, and the baby was not budging. So she went over her options, and she’s like, the risk of using a vacuum is this, and these are the risks. But the risks are about 1% of cases, and that gives you an idea of, like, yes, there’s risk, but they’re not that significant. Yeah, it’s helpful. Versus your baby could be into its brain and you could tear. Okay, well, how likely is that to happen? 1%. Okay, great.
[00:20:36.280] – Hilary Erickson
[00:20:36.630] – Hilary Erickson
So communication is key, guys.
[00:20:38.760] – Samantha Ghabra
So important. So important.
[00:20:40.290] – Hilary Erickson
And keep talking with your partner while you’re in there. We expect you guys to have conversations around us. Yes. We expect all that. You should be like, what do you think about this? What do you think? Because it’s both of you. It’s both your baby. And maybe they have input because they’re not in pain and they’re not so tired.
[00:20:56.450] – Samantha Ghabra
Correct. I had a great dad the other day who was, like, asking tons of questions, pulling us aside and being like, you said this. What does that mean? And we love explaining. Nurses love to talk. We love to talk. We love to explain things. So ask us the questions.
[00:21:09.520] – Hilary Erickson
Yeah, as long as your partner’s okay with it. Because sometimes they ask any question that the partners like, I am so sorry. He is so innovative. I was like, no, I love it, I love it, I love it.
[00:21:19.740] – Samantha Ghabra
I don’t mind.
[00:21:20.720] – Hilary Erickson
I do think sometimes it bugs the pregnant person, so then I feel like I don’t care.
[00:21:28.150] – Samantha Ghabra
[00:21:29.950] – Hilary Erickson
All right, thanks so much. Coming on Samantha. If you guys have questions about communication and labor, come find us over on Instagram. We’d love to chat more about it. And, Samantha, thanks for coming on.
[00:21:38.570] – Samantha Ghabra
Thank you so much. I had a great time.
[00:21:40.100] – Hilary Erickson
I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, because the number one rule is everybody is so different, and we literally have no idea what you want. So the more you can tell us what you want, the more we can tailor things to you, because when a patient is completely closed off, hardly talks to us. It’s just like they want me to read their mind, and I am not good at that. Just ask my husband. So hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. The online prenatal class for couples has a whole bonus video where I use my husband and a friend and we go through some scenarios about communicating with your health care team, so it just gives you some of the words you can use to do that. So I hope you guys will come join me in the course, and we have some fun episodes coming up.
[00:22:18.560] – Hilary Erickson
My friend Kayla from Baby Toddler teacher is coming to talk about organizing your playroom, which is a great thing as we’re getting into Christmas shopping time. So I cannot wait for her to come on. Even if you haven’t had your baby or you’re not even close, I think this is a great discussion just to talk about what to expect to buy to play with your baby. I loved the conversation. And then after that, my friend Rachel is coming on to talk about positive C-sections because we only hear the negative about those. So excited for those episodes. Stay tuned.
[00:22:45.020] – Hilary Erickson
Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls Podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which, frankly, is my favorite kind of hugging. Until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.